Dr Frenchlove

Today our beloved French überpresident single-handedly announced his plan to reduce our nuclear arsenal to about 300 warheads. This, apparently, will leave us with about half as many as we had at the height of the cold war. Money quote: he called it the "life-insurance policy" of France. Well, right now I'm feeling that much safer!

And just to show everyone how serious we are about deploying our nuking power all round the world, president Sarkozy inaugurated France's latest nuclear attack submarine, hilariously nicknamed "Le Terrible"-no pun intended. Better hope our enemies don't speak English, or at least that they have no sense of humour. Or perhaps the idea is simply to make them laugh to their deaths. But hey this is France-we're all about killing our enemies in the most humane sort of way.

In order to justify the multi-billion euro expense for our new toy, Mr. Sarkozy rightly pointed out that, although France is no longer facing a realistic threat of invasion, "the security of Europe is at stake." For instance, were the mollahs of Iran to shove a nuclear ballistic missile at us, we'd instantly respond in kind-by killing a couple million of Iranian citizens who've never asked to live in a dictatorship. Better yet, as the suicide bombers in Afghanistan and Iraq have grimly proved, the islamists don't actually care at all about the lives of their own people. So honestly I'm not really sold on the whole nuclear deterrent concept, especially at a time when our social security system is going bankrupt.

On the positive side, reducing our nuclear arsenal is a good thing, and I do feel sincerely thankful for that. And keeping a reduced nuclear arsenal still does have value in showing everybody how serious we are at defending our territorial integrity against those non-EU foreigners. I mean, imagine if the Bush administration suddenly realized they've got no-one left to bomb but us, like, after they've bombed the middle-east in Iraq, Asia in Afghanistan and East-Asia in North Korea. Scary thought!!